I love how majestic the bald eagle looks from the side
but from straight on it just looks scared and confused
Just like the United States
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.
I need this.
It makes toast.
Being a nice person is so fun
Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it
Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets
There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.
I wasn’t kidding…………………….
i really hate seeing children at gay rallies. in most cases, they don’t understand what they’re doing and what they’re promoting. i think most children are pressured into going to gay rallies by their parents and, therefore, pressured into believing in gay marriage.
i really hate seeing children in churches. in most cases, they don’t understand what they’re doing and what they’re promoting. i think most children are pressured into going to churches by their parents and, therefore, pressured into believing in a magic man in the sky who will send them to hell if they touch themselves or eat shrimp.
its okay i still love you uvu
*hugs the beautiful anon*
stay fab, da-ze
I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers
what why would you use numbers
so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH
America makes no sense, as usual.
bless the person that actually made the chart
laughter from France
France what the fuck
"Most girls that like snakes and weird animals are ugly" pardon me while I put my snake on my face to demonstrate the several fucks that none of us give
Allow me to join you with my snake scarf and lack of fucks
I don’t think I’d have a face left if I did what you guys were doing, but I want to play anyway.
don’t give even one tiny little fuck
NEIGH HOY MENOY
I was gonna reblog this either way but that last one made me want to reblog it even more
this is important
I’m sorry, what was that about fat people not being able to pole dance?????
What was that about fat people not having agility and the strength to do dance moves and shit while fat???
WHAT WAS THAT?
- breath in for 4 seconds
- hold your breath for 7 seconds
- exhale breath for 8 seconds
repeat once or twice more.
This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.
Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.
Never not reblog
Tumblr got anxiety advice. Fuck yeah.
GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT I NEED YOU TO SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE. THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO MESS WITH YOUR POSTS AND MAKE THEM TRIGGERING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SPREAD THIS IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. HOVER OVER THE LINK AND CHECK IN YOUR LOWER LEFT HAND CORNER OF YOUR BROWSER TO MAKE SURE ITS A GOOD WEBSITE.
Okay followers, if none have ever interacted with me, please just reblog this. I don’t want people to be triggered by things like this
THEY MIGHT CHANGE LINKS TO SCREAMERS, WHICH NOT ONLY CAN CAUSE ANXIETY AND BE TRIGGERING, BUT CAN CAUSE SEIZURES. PEOPLE REALLY CAN DIE, VERY EASILY, FROM HAVING CERTAIN KINDS OF SEIZURES. so even if you just dont want to get involved with all of this stuff (which is understandable), please please PLEASE reblog this so people dont fall for the trap and DIE.
This is just getting crazier by the day. Stay safe followers.